Tune-up Ride Report: Preparing for the Big Adventure

It’s all starting to get kind of real . . .

Passports. Check.

Vaccinations. Check.

Replace drivetrains on both bikes – by myself. Check.

Figure out all kinds of adult things that young people might not have to worry about. For instance, who’s paying the mortgage? Where’s the money coming from? Do we have a will? Who’s paying the bills? Who’s watering the plants? Who’s living in our house? (Answer – Ellie and three of her friends are renting our place.) What are we doing with our cars? (Answer – Selling them because we’ve driven them into the ground and our bikes are worth more than our cars at this point . . .) What are we doing for health insurance? What about taxes?

I hesitate to say “Check” because I’m sure there are things falling through the cracks. But we have been working on a lot of stuff . . .

This weekend we headed out on a short tune-up ride to make sure that we have all the physical things we need ready for the big trip. 

All systems – or, rather, most systems – go. 

Remember in Star Trek when Captain Kirk would ask the crew for an assessment of the ship. Uhura would report that the dialilater or some other part was at full strength. The Russian guy would report that the hydraulic overdrive suppressor was at 100%. And then Scotty would report in. The third, fourth and fifth warp drives were down and the engine was running at 30% capacity. And then Kirk would ask how long it would take to make repairs and Scotty would sadly say that they would need three bitranium disks if they wanted to have any chance of bringing the ship back up to capacity, but the disks could only be found on planet Voltar and that was 372 million light years away and on the other side of the O’Dallion Asteroid Belt. 

Now imagine that Diana is Captain Kirk. Uhura reports that after the recent overhaul the bikes are running at 100%. The Russian guy – Chekov, that’s his name – chimes in: “Tent, camping gear, and new solar charger producing at 107%, Captain.” (At this point the Captain is pretty happy; because battery anxiety is a huge thing for her . . .)

And then Scotty gives his sad report on the state of John’s engines and body.

He starts out hopefully. “Rabies, yellow fever, typhoid and Hepatitis A vaccines all at full . . .”

“That’s enough,” the new Captain cuts him off. “I’m the medical officer on this ship now. Why do you think Bones got fired? Tell me about the power systems.”

Scotty looks despondent as he begins his report:

“She’s fifty-five years old Captain. She just doesn’t have the strength anymore. I might be able to squeeze a little more juice, but that will require three chocolate malts and a cheeseburger. And even then we might blow a cylinder. We just can’t go that fast . . . And that doesn’t even consider the lower back. There’s just no core strength. The reality is this old vessel needs a complete overhaul.” 

Our new-age Captain Kirk fires back with: “Use all the thrusters. If this bucket of bolts can’t handle the heat, maybe it’s time for a trade-in . . .”

Such was our tune-up ride. 

I survived, but it is clear that I could do with a little more riding and maybe situps and pushups for my back before we head out on the real journey . . .

The rest of our list:

• Diana didn’t love the Swiss Army Knife as our primary cutting tool so we need a decent new blade. 
• The solar panel strapped to Diana’s rack seemed to work well. We even made a few adjustments as we went – moving the panel back farther so that Diana’s shadow didn’t shade it too much. The panel turned out to be so popular that we ordered another one for my bike. 
• Pillows. Bowie stepped on my pillow on our last trip to the Boundary Waters – putting like 37 punctures in it. Dumb dog. Regardless, I brought the wrong pillows; the blow-up kind are just not very good – your head is always rolling off of the pillows. So we need new head comfort solutions.
• Remote control for my new Swiss Army Knife of a helmet. The built-in speakers worked great and I was able to listen to the Twins game as we went – but for some reason the remote control didn’t work so I need to work on that. (More on my do-everything helmet in future editions . . .).
• Diana’s gearing. I changed Diana’s bike to a one-by. Which worked great (very proud of myself for figuring out how to do this (with the help of our super knowledgeable friend Mike)) – except that Diana was at times using her lowest gear. Yes, the hills at Afton can be big – but we’re planning to bike through the Andes. Do we really think that the Afton Hills are even close? Need to think about what to do about that . . . because don’t want Diana blowing out her knees trying to push a big load up big hills without a low enough gear. (The problem is that Diana’s psyche is stronger than her bones. She’ll just will herself up the hill until her very joints break . . . not a good idea . . .)

That’s about it. Also need to change the tires and the brake pads before we start – but we felt pretty good about things really. 

That’s not to say that the trip was completely without hiccups. We ended up going to Afton State Park because, after we arrived in Stillwater, I informed Diana that our original destination – somewhere in Wisconsin – was too far for me. Seriously, I need to work on my fitness here soon . . .

Now Afton State Park is cool. But it is super hilly – and all the camping is hike-in type camping. Pretty far from the visitor center. Which meant that once we were in at the campsites there was no going back to the visitor center to switch to another site. 

We were supposed to be in site 6, but when we arrived we decided it was too dark and would probably end up being super buggy. So we looked around at the many open sites and ended up taking number 12. A nice big, roomy site with a cool breeze. 

We conferred on whether we would need to change our reservation, but we decided that there was little chance of anyone else coming given that it was almost 5 p.m. on a Sunday. So we set up camp, pitched our tent, gathered firewood, and prepped everything for dinner. Then we headed down the big – like mile long straight-down – hill to the St. Croix River for a cool pre-dinner dip in the water. 

As we went down the hill we saw a few people coming up – carrying huge loads. Full size pillows and coolers. Brand new tents, still in their boxes. Maybe a television or two . . . Okay, maybe there were no televisions. But they had A LOT of stuff. 

I asked the first one what site they were in. He couldn’t remember. We crossed paths with a few more and I asked again.

“Umm, thirteen, I think . . . No, wait, we’re in twelve.”

“Twelve?” 

(This was not good. Even Diana had no New York-like response to this. Maybe something like: “Finders, keepers . . .”)

“We just set up in twelve. But thirteen is open,” I stammered hopefully.

It was worth a try . . .

No dice. 

“We have reservations for twelve,” the guy carrying the cooler responded.

“I guess we could move our stuff,” I suggested, hoping that he would say something like: “No worries, we can just take another site . . .”

Instead, we got: “That would be appreciated.”

Houston, we have a problem.

We turned around and started biking furiously back up the hill, and past the other people trudging up the hill with their couches, barcaloungers, blenders, portable generators, and whatnot. 

Fortunately, with their loads they were not moving that fast. 

I’ve never taken down a tent that fast before. Within ten minutes our shelter was down, the sleeping bag and pad and all of our gear was bundled and moving, and all of our stuff was at site thirteen. The most challenging part was the wild rice that was already soaking in water. Balanced it on my handlebars and rode over the grass very, very gingerly . . .

The good part? Well, reality is that I don’t know what we were thinking trying to go swimming before having dinner in the first place. We did what was for me a big day of riding, complete with a bunch of big hills in and around Afton. We set up camp. Now it’s 5 O’Clock. And we think it’s a good idea to go a mile each way up and down a giant hill, go swimming (which, for Diana is not just a quick dip in the water – it’s probably breaststroke to Hastings and back . . .), and then go back and make and eat dinner? That was never going to work . . .

Instead, we changed gears, set up camp (again), and made dinner immediately. And even then we didn’t eat until 6:30 or so. 

Delicious. Cheesy wild rice. Great bag salad. Shish Kabob. Hit the spot for sure!

But the biggest miracle of all? We didn’t even argue about how we ended up setting up camp twice. We just got it done and moved on with our day . . . 

I guess that may be the most important testament to our being ready for the big trip . . .

Beam me up Scotty. Stardate T-minus-20 or so. 

Our mission: “To explore strange (to us) new places. To boldly go where this old couple has never gone before.”

Anyway, looking forward to sharing our adventures with you. And would love to hear from you along the way . . .

Subscribe to our blog and you’ll get an email when we post something new . . .