The 12 Days of Christmas – Central American Style

Boca Barranca – Bejuco, Costa Rica

Well, we are on a roll. 

Amazing biking. Live crocodiles and parrots. An anteater, a monkey or two, and another unidentified animal – albeit all dead – but still, how many anteaters have you seen in Minnesota? Dead or alive? And Diana and I are just in great sync these last few days. Pretty darn nice.

I’ll talk about all this in due course, but I figure it is about time to get in the Christmas spirit. After all, I think we’re in what might be the Christmas capital of the world. 

I know there may be some dispute about this. 

There was that place in Texas that claimed to be the biggest Christmas store on Earth. But that place was right across the street from Bucky’s – and I just don’t think you can truly have Christmas spirit when you are that close to one of the all time biggest consumer frenzy stores on the planet. 

And I’m sure Minnesota would make a claim. After all, my Aunt Patsy has the biggest snowman collection in the entire casserole eating world. And it’s like 17 below zero Fahrenheit there right now, with snow on the ground – so that’s something. 

But I guess after thinking about it a bit I’ve concluded that the cold and snow kind of work against our great state when it comes to the Christmas capital claim. I mean, it’s easy to believe in Santa Claus when there are actual reindeer running around and the trees are naturally flocked. 

The trick is to believe in Santa even when all you have is palm trees and coconuts, and when none of the men have white beards or anything. That shows true Christmas spirit. You really have to have faith . . . 

On this score the Central Americans almost certainly come out on top. I mean, I think if I was to grow my beard out – which, by the way, would cause my Mrs. Claus to divorce me – I would be the closest facsimile of Saint Nick that any of these people have seen in real life. 

And can Santa’s reindeer even survive in this heat? I doubt it. We haven’t seen a single deer since Texas – although we have recently seen a few Deer and Monkey Crossing type road signs.

Despite all this, Christmas is HUGE down here. “Trees” adorn every public square. Christmas decorations are everywhere. 

Diana and I? We haven’t done anything to prepare for the big event. Our bikes aren’t decorated. We haven’t made our helmets sing with Christmas spirit by putting a Santa cap on top or maybe some reindeer antlers. We have no tree – not even the Charlie Brown variety. (Do they know the Peanuts cartoons and Snoopy down here? Hard to imagine Christmas without the Charlie Brown Christmas Special.)

So I figure it’s time to make our contribution . . . 

The 12 Days of Christmas – Central American Style – based on things we’ve observed along the way . . .

Here goes . . .

On the first day of Christmas

my true love gave to me

A parrot in a palm tree

On the second day of Christmas 

My true love gave to me

Two screaming monkeys,

And a parrot in a palm tree.

On the third day of Christmas

My true love gave to me

Three Mexican hens,

Two screaming monkeys,

And a parrot in a palm tee.

On the fourth day of Christmas,

My true love gave to me

Four roosters calling,

Three Mexican hens,

Two screaming monkeys,

And a parrot in a palm tree.

Okay . . . Skipping to the end . . .

On the twelfth day of Christmas

My true love gave to me

Twelve semis revving,

Eleven horses leaping,

Ten sweepers sweeping,

Nine scooters scooting,

Eight children playing,

Seven weed wackers wacking,

Six kinds of corn,

Five horns a blasting,

Four roosters calling,

Three Mexican hens,

Two screaming monkeys,

And a parrot in a palm tree.

Okay, we haven’t seen any monkeys yet – but I know they are coming soon . . . 

I’m hoping to hear this on the radio down here any time now . . .

The ride today? Kind of like biking through Yellowstone. You know how you basically drive from crowd to crowd in the park – just to see what everyone is looking at? It’s usually something pretty cool – like a wolf, or a geyser, or a mountain goat or a buffalo or something. That’s kind of how this part of Costa Rica is.

First we come to a bridge with a whole bunch of people – tourists – looking down. We do the only sensible thing to do in this situation. Dismount and copy what everyone else is doing. 

Sure enough – this is THE Crocodile Bridge. Lurking just below the bridge is a whole brigade of crocs. I guess I can see why you really don’t want to mess with these creatures. One of them is probably 16’ long. I wonder if the local town feeds them? Definitely good for the economy. Seriously, I’m thinking in Mexico these crocs would be dead because people would eat them. I guess Costa Ríca has figured out where its bread is buttered . . . 

In any event, seeing these crocodiles was a serious highlight. It’s like these new-fangled zoos where you’re supposed to see the animals in their natural environments. Which sounds cool – except in their natural environments most animals are pretty much invisible – kind of defeating the purpose of the zoo in the first place. But here the crocs are in their natural environment but they are easy to see and watch . . . 

After we practically run out of memory recording videos on our phones we head out – and within a mile or two we see a group of people on a side road. They’re outside of a minibus staring up at a tree or something. I call a stop and we go to investigate. 

Good idea. They are looking at not one, but two big bright red, yellow and blue birds. Just hanging out together up in a tree. Pictures didn’t come out – we need a real camera with a telephoto lens I guess . . . But wow – that was cool as well! (Looking it up later, they were, I think, scarlet macaws. They are the biggest and the brightest of the parrots and they mate for life – so if you see one you typically see two.)

No live monkey sightings yet. But I think we saw two howler road kill. (Won’t include the picture because it’s kind of gruesome). One anteater.

Kind of funny. Okay, I guess not funny – sounds uncaring – it was dead after all. Kind of interesting then. The anteater was lying next to a banana. 

“It was Mrs. Peacock, on the highway, with a plantain . . .”

The other thing though – Diana identified it as an anteater right away – and Google Lens confirmed that. But Google Lens also said that anteaters live in South America. Didn’t really mention anything about Central America or Costa Rica. But maybe they’re on the move because of climate change? Heading north where it’s cooler? They’ll be in Minnesota soon, I suppose . . .

I just don’t understand how it made it through the Darien Gap. It’s supposed to be so dangerous . . . Maybe it flew? Or took a boat around? Another mystery – kind of like the traffic jam in Mexico. May never be solved . . .

One other roadkill that Google Lens couldn’t identify. 

Any ideas? Is it an otter maybe?

The rest of the ride – when we weren’t looking at crocs or parrots or roadkill? I’ll just say that Costa Rica is amazing! The ocean here – it’s like around Big Sur with the rocky outcroppings and stuff – only warm and friendly. Rivers and streams. Beautiful roads. Some climbing – but with huge rewards. 

Oh, and the traffic was much better today. We actually had shoulders again. What’s not to like?

Tomorrow? A short-ish ride and then a few days in an airbnb so we can enjoy the nearby Manuel Antonio National Park. Seriously – we better see some monkeys . . .