A Slothful Day: Just Monkeying Around

Quepos and Manuel Antonio Nacional Parque, Costa Rica

Some days just work. 

It was supposed to be a day off, and it was, but it was not without some effort. Seven kilometers – about 4.5 miles – to the park entrance. But that seven kilometers was packed with challenge.

The trip from Quepos to the park was like a double-humped dromedary – with two super steep climbs up on to the camel’s knobs before a final descent to the park. 

But it was all worth it. Before we even arrived at the park we were greeted by two monkeys – doing a high-wire act on a rope that crossed the road, I guess for that very purpose. 

We’ve been biking about 100 days now – with the hope of seeing a monkey at some point. So we could have just gone home after seeing these little banditos and we would have been happy. 

Nonetheless, we kept going and upon arriving at the park we were greeted by our naturalist guide, Bruce. Bruce’s parents were apparently into movies and they named him after the famous kung fu artist – Bruce Lee. 

Our Bruce does not do martial arts, but he was a super nice guy and very knowledgeable and helpful. He brought along binoculars and a viewing scope and tripod; we are still in awe of his ability to find and show us a world that was completely invisible to our eyes. 

He would walk ahead a little. Then stop, peer into the jungle for a moment, set up his tripod and viewing scope, and invite us to take a look. We would be sitting there – looking in the direction of his scope – and seeing absolutely nothing. But look into his lens and there would be some magical creature – just sitting there munching on a snack – as if they are paid to hold still for our viewing pleasure . . .

We still don’t know how he did it. He may not know karate or jujitsu or anything – but he clearly knows some strange form of witchcraft – allowing him to summon and find creatures in their natural environment. I mean, a tiny grasshopper on a leaf far into the jungle. Who believes that he could find such a thing just by peering into the bush. 

I have two theories. 

One, maybe these creatures are always in these same locations. Like their feet are glued down or something. The guides, like Bruce, just know where they are by some hidden sign along the edge of the trail that only they know about. So their only real job is to pretend to scour the jungle before setting up their device. 

Or two, maybe his telescope thing is really just a Holly Hobby Viewfinder thing – with little films of animals eating leaves and stuff just pre-recorded. We look into the telescope and are awed – but it’s like the recording Keanu Reeves did to fool the evil guy in the movie Speed. I almost feel like going back for another tour tomorrow and then finding the splice in the film where it loops back on itself. 

At this point we would rip off Bruce’s mask and we would see that he was really the town sheriff – trying to make an extra buck. 

“It would have worked if not for you meddling kids,” he would say. (If you don’t get that allusion you need to go back to your childhood and press re-do. You clearly didn’t get enough Saturday morning cartoons in your diet . . .)

The other possibility – that Bruce is just super talented at finding these creatures – like some kind of exotic animal whisperer – just seems too far-fetched . . .

I’ll show you some of the pictures and let you be the judge . . .

I skipped ahead a little – but in order to truly understand our day – and the nature of my wife – we maybe need to rewind a little . . . 

So Manuel Antonio National Park is obviously very popular. And the Costa Ricans are very serious about preserving the park and the creatures in the park. For that reason there is a strict rule against bringing any food into the park – which Diana and I read about last night when we were going through the complicated process of buying our entry tickets. 

Once we met Bruce he spent a few minutes going over the day and the rules. We would walk in the park. We would need our tickets. If we left the park for any reason – like to get food or anything – we would need to buy new tickets in order to re-enter. And no food is allowed in the park under any circumstances; he went over the many reasons for this with us – one of which was that the monkeys might steal the food and eat it for themselves . . .

Okay. Got it. We understand . . .

”No, we don’t have any food with us.”

We head to the gate.

Upon arriving at the entrance we see that the gate attendant will be searching us and going through our backpacks for contraband – like food. 

Hmm. 

At that point I tell Diana that I forgot something and will need to go back to the bikes before we enter – the whole time fingering the granola bar that is secreted away in my pocket. As I go Diana hands me the two items that she was planning to smuggle in. Sadly, I go back to the bikes and deposit all three items there . . . 

I really can’t believe Diana thought it was okay to break the rules like this . . . I mean it’s one thing to try to bring one bar in – especially for someone like me who pretty much has a medical condition requiring that my blood sugar not get too low. But Diana? She can go weeks without eating. Diana is to food like a camel is to water. She could cross the Mojavi Desert of food and not have an issue. She doesn’t need any provisions – let alone two items. Pure greed. Slothfulness even! Such a rule breaker . . .

Of course, without food, by the end of the morning I’m in death march mode . . . But, I guess better than being deported from Costa Rica because an anteater became addicted to my granola bar crumbs . . .

The rest of the day?

A quick trip to the park’s meh cafeteria and then a swim in the ocean. 

On the way out . . .

A sloth – doing its slothful things.

And more monkeys.

And then back over the camel humps to Quepos. Some ice cream, and then I spend the rest of the day cleaning and maintaining the bikes on a beautiful town boardwalk overlooking the ocean while Diana suns herself a little . . . For some reason Costa Rica has this figured out where the other Central Americans haven’t: people want to be by the ocean . . .

And now there is an epidemic of iguanas. 

Kind of a home run day for the animal kingdom. What I’ve realized is that the reason everyone loves Costa Rica is that it has about the same number of really cool national parks as the U.S. – but they are all packed into a country that is smaller than West Virginia. And it has all this amazing coastline as well. (For the Minnesotans out there – Costa Rica is less than a quarter the size of our great state – but somehow has like seven Yellowstone National Parks within its borders . . .). 

Tomorrow we head to a sugarcane and banana plantation – where we’ll be staying in a little cabana. No screens. No air conditioning. Just some mosquito netting. Does that stuff keep out boa constrictors? Just wondering . . . 

Seriously, we’re excited to experience a little bit more of “real” Costa Rica. We’ve been loving it here – but it feels a little bit like being in National Park Land rather than in a real country. (There were two Indian restaurants, a Thai place, several coffee shops, a bakery, and about thirteen zip line and Extreme Adventure shops along the road between Quepos and the park.) With this sugarcane plantation they apparently cook us dinner and breakfast. So we’re expecting a little bit more authenticity. 

We’ll see . . .